It’s the Holiday Season. Families will be gathering, feasts will be prepared, tables will be shared, and gifts to exchange. The thing is, if you have been TTC-ing, the word ‘family’ begins to take on a different connotation. Family can turn into the mother, father, uncles, aunts, cousins, nieces and nephews that you love, into a glaring reminder that you currently have no children of your own. Prior to TTC-ing, it may have been easier to join in on the holiday festivities; then it occurs to you that you are on the sidelines. All of the joys from the season turn into a mirror of baby clothes and children’s toys.
Since my husband and I began TTC-ing, I’ve found the holidays to be increasingly difficult. This year, it’s the most intense sadness I’ve felt since losing my pregnancy in September. I had to ask myself ‘what am I going to do?’ ‘How am I going to make it through the holidays in one piece?’ After giving these questions some thought, I came up with a few solutions.
- Make sure that family members understand that this is a difficult time and why.
- Ask certain family members that you trust to stay aware of the forecast in the room and to keep an ear out for questionable kid conversation. We all (possibly) have that one insensitive person that will ask the annoying kid questions (i.e. When are you going to have kids? You’re clock is ticking.) or make insensitive statements (i.e. ‘Just let it go.’ ‘At least fill in the blank.’).
- If it’s a situation when gifts are being opened, find out if the kids can have their prior to your arrival so you have to feel like the odd one out.
- Stay home and have a lovely time with your spouse.
- Plan an amazing vacation to Anywheresville, stick your toes in the sand, and have a Margherita or five.
I hope that this will be helpful for any TTCers going through a similar struggle. Take good care of your heart. Love yourself and your spouse through the holidays and try to enjoy one another. In the meantime, I will have the highest of hopes that your miracle will move from your heart into your arms.