Sunshine Award

sunshine-award

I was nominated by Candidly Carol for the Sunshine Award.

“This is an award that goes to writers who brighten other people’s day.”

The rules are:

  • Include the Sunshine Award icon in your post
  • Link to the blogger who nominated you
  • Answer 10 questions about yourself
  • Nominate 10 other bloggers to receive the award
  • Link to your nominees and let them know you nominated them

Here are my answers to Candidly Carol’s 10 questions:

  • Why do you blog?

I blog for a few different reasons. I love people and being in community. No person is an island and I believe that we learn so much about ourselves and about life  in the context of community. I also enjoy sharing my journey, my passions, and my heart with others.

  • What are 3 things that inspire you?

1. Good music.

2. The kindness of strangers.

3. Freedom.

  • What is your favorite color?

I don’t have one favorite color. I have a group of colors that I love: teal, grey, pink, yellow, and white. I know…grey and white aren’t colors. Oh well.

  • What are 3 traits of your favorite Television character?

My favorite TV character (for now) is Crazy Eyes on Orange is the New Black. My 3 favorite traits are that she’s uninhibited, passionate, and hilarious.

  • If you had to live on one meal for the rest of your life what would you choose?

Anything Jamaican.

  • What is your favorite time of day?

My favorite time of the day is either early morning or late night.

  • How do you feel about clowns?

I could do without clowns.

  • If you could go on a vacation now and money was no issue, where would you go?

I would go on a month long cruise that goes to all of the Caribbean and Europe.

  • What animal do you feel reflects you the best?

Probably a lion/cheetah/leopard…something in the cat family (not a house cat though…haha).

  • Do you remember your dreams?

Most of the time.

I nominate (in no particular order):

1. Peacock Under Pressure: I LOVE seeing her words and quotes of the day.

2. Miss Ayo Délé: She posts a variety of fun things and I enjoy seeing her family posts.

3. Harmony with PCOS: Always inspirational and honest.

4. So Many Lovely Things: She always posts so many lovely things.

5. Plus Addiction: I love that she always posts about positive body image for plus sized women.

6. Every Little Thing’s Gonna Be Alright: Her positive name says it all.

7. Love Thy Introvert: She has some really great posts about natural hair and the beauty of introversion.

8. Two Take On Style: This awesomely adorable mother/daughter duo shows their equally beautiful takes on personal style.

9. Night Owl Kitchen: She makes me feel like I can cook…anything.

10. My Digital Kitchen: She makes paleo and gluten free recipes that are to LIVE for.

My questions for you all are:

  • Why do you blog?
  • If you had one clothing item that you had to wear for a month, what would it be?
  • What is a song you love that would surprise your friends?
  • Are you a coffee or a tea drinker?
  • What is your favorite thing about blogging?
  • If you could only eat one type of food for the rest of your life, what would it be?
  • What are 3 things that you love about yourself?
  • Do you ever dance or sing in public?
  • What is your favorite movie of all time?
  • If you had unlimited money to purchase ONE item, what would it be?

Pregnancy & Infant Loss Remembrance Day

pregnancy-infant-loss-remembrance-day

Today, I think of the glimmer of life that could have change mine and my husbands for ever. I remember the joy that I felt when I dreamed of one day holding you in my arms. Although I am hoping that these painful moments will occur further apart, I will never forget the spark of joy that I felt in the thought of you alone.

Today, I pray for all of the families that have experienced pregnancy and infant loss. There aren’t any elaborate words or advice that can be given to appease the broken heart of a parent or expectant parent. But, I offer prayers of comfort and I hope that beautiful memories in the good moments will dawn on the difficult ones.

xo

PCOS Symposium Recap

pcos-awareness-month-symposium-2013

I attended the free PCOS Symposium in Atlanta, GA this past Saturday. This particular event was put on by PCOS Challenge. The specialists that were presenting were very knowledgable about PCOS and how it affects our physiology, mental and emotional state, and our relationships with both people and food. The event kicked off with Sasha Ottey presenting a portion of her story with PCOS and how she (as many of us have been told) needs to take some birth control pills and lose weight and she’ll be fixed. This, unfortunately, is not the answer to this syndrome.

PCOS Symposium 5 of 5

Through Google Hangout, Gretchen Kubocky, Psy.D. gave some insight into the mind of what many PCOSers and those dealing with infertility are struggling with. She informed us that women with PCOS have a propensity toward depression, anxiety, and suicide. She did, however, balance this information with steps that can be taken to help alleviate many of these issues. Self- care. Self- care is extremely important because you have to be able to do what is necessary to lead yourself toward more positivity. Some of the things she suggested were doing things that made you feel better about yourself; whether that mean diet and exercise, wearing things that make you feel attractive, or seeking professional counseling if necessary.

Rachel Brandeis, R.D. gave a lot of information regarding diet and nutrition specific to the PCOS population. She gave a well rounded presentation of the plan of attack for managing PCOS. She calls it the ‘3 Stool Approach.’ Like a 3 legged stool, if one method is missing, it will break down. The methods (nutrition, medical management, and exercise) all work in conjunction with one another. She also gave many helpful tips as to what out daily consumption of food should be to manage our condition.

Last but certainly not least was Dr. Mark Perloe from Georgia Reproductive Specialists in Atlanta, GA. He explained the importance of lifestyle with regards to the development of PCOS. So, in order to have the best chances at conception, it’s a good idea to begin to diet, exercise, and take any prescribed medications consistently in order to set the foundation for a healthy pregnancy.

Overall, the symposium put on by PCOS Challenge was very well rounded. They gave information pertaining to diet and nutrition, exercise, fertility, mental health, and self-care. It ended with an extensive question and answer session. There were tons of questions asked by some newly diagnosed PCOSers. I thought this was pretty awesome because it gave them some powerful tools to attack their diagnosis with from the very beginning.

PCOS Symposium 1 of 5
There is ALWAYS time for a selfie. =)

 

PCOS Symposium 2 of 5

PCOS Symposium 3 of 5

PCOS Symposium 4 of 5

Footprints On My Heart

Baby Footprints Heart

Sigh…here it goes. I’ve been dreading this post for a few weeks now. Posting this now isn’t my attempt at trying to get this over with, but it’s me trying to heal as the days pass and I continue to both remember and be reminded.

As I sit here typing this post, I can’t stop thinking about the fact that I should be sitting here pregnant. Right now, I should be about 9 weeks and 6 days pregnant with my first baby. Tomorrow would have been 10 days. Although I’ve been able to reintegrate into life after loss, I can’t help but feel like every day that passes is a reminder of how far I would have been.

On August 11, 2013, I had a thought. I said to myself, “Self, I think you are pregnant. Take a test.” So Myself said, “Ok,” and took a pregnancy test. After taking the test, I looked at it in the way that many women look at them…in every possible lighting and angle there is to look at it. I thought I saw a line but I wasn’t completely sure so I asked Jay and he said he thinks he saw one but he isn’t sure either. So after a few days passed, I took a First Response test at about 8 a.m. while we were away on vacation. I hadn’t even gotten a chance to put the test down before I saw the brightest positive on the side of Tennessee. My mouth dropped, my heart fluttered, and I was hungry. Cravings, blissful soreness, nausea, and sleep overcame me over the next few days. Those were some of the best days I’ve had. I remember throwing up and feeling a sense of joy overcome me for the reason of my regurgitation.

Shortly after we returned from our vacation, things started going south. I was bleeding, some of my symptoms began to disappear, and I was very afraid. Every day that passed felt like time itself tripled in length. I communicated with doctors who couldn’t tell me very much because it was so early on in my pregnancy. I had my HCG tested every other day and it seemed to be doing a tormenting dance, going up and then dropping. When I tried to make peace with a miscarriage, it went up again. The doctor concluded that my pregnancy is ectopic and they were worried because those can be very dangerous.

On September 5th at 1:30 p.m., I showed up at the doctors office distressed, tired, and defeated. I was 30 minutes late because I couldn’t make myself get off of the couch knowing that I was going to terminate my pregnancy. For 45 minutes, they tried to inject me and for 45 minutes, I cried.

I didn’t want that moment to be my last memory of my pregnancy so I purchased a little chest to place everything from that pocket of time (as Kara would say) to remind myself of God’s blessing of my pregnancy, that it really happened, and so I will never forget. Today, I still cry. I cry because I am sad. I am frustrated and heart broken. I cry when I think about how my little silver chest holds all of the hopes and dreams that my husband and I had for this life, for us as a family, and the future of what would have been our baby.

Though my heart is broken, I will continue to move forward because it is the only choice I have.